So, I sent John out to get some milk on Saturday. He and Sam got all dressed up and off they went to the car, hand in hand. Very cute. He came back a few minutes later and told me that he couldn't get milk. 'Why the heck not?!!??' says I. 'Because someone knifed our tires.' 'What the *$@#??!!!????????'

I am not kidding. Here in tame suburbia, there has been a rash of tire knifings. So the tow truck just took the car to the dealership to get the tires replaced. We will see what the insurance company has to say about that. They wanted used to just replace the one tire with a used one, but we called several places, and no one does that around here.